Living on Gifted Life

The wonderful Claire Elsdon tagged me on a post on LinkedIn this morning. Judith Aldersey- Williams posted about having become a living kidney donor. Claire, knowing my history tagged me. I shared this on Judiths post, which she did to raise people’s awareness of the possibility to become a living organ donor. She asked for people’s stories. I shared part of mine.

I live on gifted time. Not a day goes past when I don’t think how lucky I am.
My response to Judith.

Hi Judith,
What you are doing with your post is very special. Signing up for the organ doner register is always something people ‘mean’ to do and in the rush of everyday life, they don’t get round to. Priorities right. Others think that because in the UK we have an opt out system, that’s ‘job done’. They have to do nothing.

So far from the truth and actually they are adding stress, confusion and worry for their surviving family because too many people don’t tell their families what they want if they die. With current law in England, in their upset state, families can refuse for transplantations to go ahead. I so wish more people understood this. I know people who have refused and have then lived in a state of guilt. Grim.

Judith, I know you don’t want more praise for being a living donor but you are a super person. Thank you for being who you are.

You know this but most people don’t. Why should they? We humans can function very well on one kidney and in fact an amazing number of people are born with just one kidney and have no idea because their lives are just as active and as healthy as everyone else’s.

My story is fairly ordinary. I was not fortunate enough to have a living donor transplantation. I have a rarer blood group – no possible matches, though I was lucky enough to have volunteers. Just thinking about them brings a lump to my throat.

However, I am a kidney transplant recipient. And that makes me one of the lucky ones. I have been living on gifted life for just over 11 years now. My kidney function went down to just 8%. Quality of life was pretty poor and I loathed being a drag on others.

The docs were telling me that dialysis was the go, for a while. A while? My blood group is B Positive. Suits who I am perfectly, but being one of the rarer blood groups wasn’t so helpful. The docs explained that I might, maybe, if I was lucky, and still alive, get a transplant in perhaps 10 years. Being an optimist, I told myself that I just needed to get on with the situation and hope for the best. But really, all I could think of was the drain on my partner, her family and my own.

Looking after someone who needs to dialyse is no fun. Life is run on a timetable and dialysis does not do the same job as a functioning kidney; far from it, but it does keep you alive for a while. My problems were going to be an anchor on all of them. I also really disliked how I was going to be a constant drain on the NHS’s funds, for all those years. Our amazing NHS. I can’t praise it and the people who make everything happen enough. But I’m digressing!

Me? Lucky? Oh yes. A very thoughtful and kind young man with my blood group, signed up to be an organ donor, and explained to his family that this is what he wanted. Life ended early for him (a road accident I gather) but he lives on in me and I try to do him proud. I spend much of my life trying to encourage others to live their lives to the full, and helping people to achieve their ambitions. I hope I’m using his gift of life well. I am one of the lucky ones.

If you are reading this and are a living donor, I think you are a superb person. Your gift to another person is simply wonderful.

If you are reading this and you haven’t yet, please consider being a living donor. Or at least get yourself on the Organ Donor Register and make sure your family knows what you want.

What an amazing legacy! And in the meantime, I hope you have every opportunity to live your life to the max.